The Perils of Positive Thinking

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Something bothered me about the teeth of the consultant who was sitting in front of me, on the other side of the helpdesk. I couldn’t identify what it was immediately. I was at my bank’s foreign exchange division, hoping to get some advice on an upcoming business trip. As the positive and friendly consultant was talking, I suddenly realized what seemed out of place for me. Embedded in his front tooth was the ultimate symbol of business success - a gold dollar sign! I struggled to concentrate on our conversation. I caught myself in forced contemplation and my curious mind was analyzing why he chose this unique form of expression. I was ambushed by the realization that it was because he was working in foreign exchange. Different strokes for different folks. Some committed corporate employees choose to personalize their car number plates with the company’s name, but this consultant chose to add some bite to the bark. I interrogated myself in silence. Was this not taking it a bit too far? Was I a perplexed spectator of misdirected positive thinking?

I’m not sure what the right answer is, but I am convinced that this type of mindset can sometimes lead to eccentric behaviour, to say the least. The wheel starts buckling once we abandon common sense and basic business acumen in the process. Positive thinking without common sense is like operating your computer without anti-virus software. It causes illogical and unnecessary threats to one’s career and business that could easily be avoided. Please don’t get me wrong! The workplace needs more positive people than ever. No-one can deny the exciting impact that positive attitudes have on the outcome of our strategies and events. The problem is just that positive thinking on its own doesn’t pay the bills nor grow market share. Someone once said that zeal without knowledge is deadly. Positive thinking without substance is nothing but a fairytale for adults. Overemphasizing positive thinking at the expense of other critical success factors will only lead to embarrassment and disappointment.

A whole industry has sprung up in recent times to teach us how to radiate a positive image. We get taught to dress professionally and how this will positively influence our companies, careers and credibility. Clients will view us in a new light and the business results will follow. Positive image consultants help us with our colour coding, rearrange our wardrobes and make sure that certain clothing items get the boot. Being in touch with our colours and making our ties and scarves work for us will positively sway opinions around us. We will also feel better about ourselves. To a certain extent this might be true, but what about the elegantly dressed executive who cannot rally her sales force to higher performance? What about the colour coordinated, smartly dressed financial broker who doesn’t know the difference between life insurance and a pension fund? Do they perhaps spend too much time in front of the mirror and too little time growing their knowledge, products and people? A young accountant approached her retired mentor one day and asked very expectantly how she managed such a successful career. This answer was surprisingly brief: “Good decisions”. In anticipation she launched the next question: “But how can I learn to make good decisions?” The wise mentor paused for a moment and replied: “Through experience!” Again the eager accountant asked: “But how do I gain experience?” Her mentor smiled understandingly: “Through bad decisions!”

Some of the ardent advocates of positive thinking with their new-age message of “I”, “me” and “myself” are simply neglecting very important factors in the process. Very often, they do not take into account the importance of experience, teamwork and old-fashioned hard work across the span of a career. It is much easier and profitable to sell instant solutions to the market place. The problem is just that people are not computers. A rapid reboot doesn’t instantly prepare people for a lifetime of growth and success. A quick download from a memory stick doesn’t build self-awareness nor instantly delete insecurity. A pair of trendy shoes with matching socks doesn’t produce the performance required to get promoted to the next level. I don’t know about you, but rather give me a team in denims and t-shirts who can do the job efficiently, caring for the customers and who are real and secure about themselves than people with very little substance. The old cliché still rings true: “don’t judge a book by its cover!”

All of us will get discouraged some or other time at work. At times like these, we seek out the support of a trusted colleague or friend. This dejected situation usually unfolds in one of two scenarios. The ideal is when the other person truly listens and empathizes with you during this challenging time. You appreciate the chance to get the problem off your chest and leave the room, ready to face the world again. The second scenario involves the friend or colleague that is a single-minded positive thinker. The more that you try to verbalize the problem in order to feel better, the more you get interrupted with “positive solutions”. The more you crave empathy, the more they inject you with the importance of positive thinking. It leaves you feeling even more dejected and riddled with guilt about your inability to think positively during this trying time. Interestingly enough this is not a new phenomenon. An ancient Hebrew proverb already described hundreds and hundreds of years back that this type of approach is like “one who takes off a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar on soda, is he who sings songs to a troubled heart.”

Positive thinking on its own cannot and will never be a substitute for getting things done and achieving results. Positive thinking without application of knowledge and skill is nothing but wishful dreaming and fraught with the dangers of disillusionment. A penchant for action is a sure way to move ahead in the workplace. One of the greatest characteristics of all successful people is that they are forever action-oriented. Positive thinking in the absence of all the other factors that contribute to success will never be the magic bullet it is made out to be. And before I forget, the positive thinking consultant from my bank with the gold dollar smile made a positive impression on me, but unfortunately he couldn’t solve my query...

Estienne de Beer is a Professional Speaker and Leadership Coach. He is the author of the book “Boosting Your Career - Tips From Top Executives”. Over the past few years, Estienne has empowered people in 7 countries. To receive his free personal development newsletter, visit his website at http://www.leader2leaders.com or e-mail him at estienne@lantic.net with your first name, surname, city & country in the body of the email and “My FREE subscription to Leader2Leaders” in the subject line.

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My favorite quote is: “I’ll see it when I believe it”. Over the years my mind has challenged this perspective on life, doubted it and even dismissed it at times when I most needed to heed its message. It negates the cultural belief system I grew up in, which, in a nutshell, suggests that we as human beings are at the affect of what is happening in the world around us and that we have little or no control over our life experience. I call this the victim mentality.

Over a decade has passed wherein I have challenged the accuracy of the belief system I grew up with. I have experimented within the lab of my own life and I have concluded within the scope of my own observations and experience that I am not a victim of circumstance. I now know that my life experiences are not random and that my state of mind is greatly responsible for shaping my life experiences.

A few years ago, while still a graduate student trying to juggle many financial obligations, I was unable to pay for one of my graduate courses upfront. Skipping a course and postponing my graduation date was, in my mind, not an option but this still left me clueless as to how I would pay for my course that month.

At that point in my life I had at my disposal a large ’toolbox’ of methods to support me shift my thoughts into ones that were more aligned with the experiences I desired. One of the tools in my precious toolbox included the use of positive affirmations, a method highly effective in training my mind to hold a crystal clear focus of whatever it is I wanted to bring into my life experience. Although I had experienced ‘miracles' in the past by implementing this tool, I did not consistently use it. I still harbored leftover beliefs that diminished the powerful experiences I had when I did use this tool.

Luckily for me, I was so desperate to create enough money to continue my coursework that I was willing to apply the methods I had learned once again. And so, with all the enthusiasm I could muster, I went about creating an affirmation board by typing out the following affirmations

"I have more money than I’ll ever need or desire" "Money, money, money is coming to me from everywhere." " My tuition is easily and gracefully paid for.”

On my board I also added the image of a bag of money alongside the affirmations. This visual helped me invoke my emotions and engage my imagination as I said the affirmations.

I printed three copies of my affirmation board and drove to Kinkos to have them laminated. I proceeded to place one board in my shower, another on my bathroom mirror and the last by my computer. These were places I was sure to frequent daily!

Every morning and night I repeated these affirmations while washing away in the shower (I sang them out loud!), while brushing my teeth (silently repeating them in my mind) and while working at my computer (I took several declaration breaks). I actually enjoyed saying them and they became a welcome ritual in my daily routine! After a mere three days I found myself wholeheartedly immersed in the process, inspired by the sense of abundance and flow my positive affirmations were instilling in me. I completely let go of the results and the reason I introduced the affirmations into my routine in the first place! I was feeling great and that was that!

About two weeks into this process, I received a phone call from the university where I was pursuing my master's degree in counseling psychology. The voice on the other end told me that she had good news to impart to me. I was caught completely off guard when she informed me that an anonymous donor wanted to pay the tuition for a course of my choice. I had no idea that was even an option at my graduate school, especially during the middle of a school year. Besides, how was my name chosen? Who even knew about my situation - I had shared it with no-one!

My desire was fulfilled so precisely that it really caught my attention this time! As I put down the receiver my eyes welled with tears of gratitude and humility. At that moment I felt so connected to something sacred, to something much bigger than myself, to an invisible field of support, love and abundance …it was all so real and palpable to me! My desire was delivered to me and a sense of deep gratitude permeated every cell of my being as I walked around in sheer bliss during the days that followed.

Quantum physicists refer to the “invisible field of support” I experienced as a ‘quantum field’. At the risk of over simplifying this complex theory, this field consists of a myriad of potential possibilities which can be “collapsed” into physical matter by the focused intent - by the focused thoughts, of the observer. The movie “What the Bleep Do We Know", beautifully brings this seemingly complex concept to life. However, as fascinating as this theory sounds, it simply remains a theory, if one has no personal or direct experience of its workings!

Yes, positive affirmations work. They support you in focusing your intent and thoughts on that which your heart desires, be it harmony and love in a challenging relationship or buying the home of your dreams!

You are responsible for filling in your wish list. The ‘quantum field’ is responsible for delivering it to you. You are responsible for envisioning and declaring your wish list as already done. The ‘quantum field’ is responsible for figuring out how to deliver your wish list to you.

Positive affirmations are to be written in the present tense. Write them as if you are already living that which you desire. If you desire a new home, do not affirm that you ‘want’ a beautiful home for you do not want to bring forth the experience of ‘wanting’. Do not specify particular strategies or ‘the how’ of fulfilling your dream as you may want to leave the ‘how’ to the quantum field of infinite potentiality. This field may deliver to you opportunities and solutions that are beyond what your mind could ever conceive. Declare yourself already having, living and experiencing that which you most desire. Engage all your senses when you say your affirmations. Smell the scent of the roses growing on the front lawn of your desired home; feel yourself bathing in your deluxe jacuzzi; sense the joy you experience while watching beautiful sunsets from your bedroom window. Have fun and let your imagination soar. After all, why would you want to experience anything less in your own fantasy!

After you have done all that, let go, detach and be grateful for what you already have! Detach from specific timelines and know that all you desire, in alignment with your highest good, will show up in the perfect timing for you! Know that your wish list is being fulfilled and expect to joyfully receive all that you asked for!

To conclude, I urge you not to believe a word I say or buy into any theories. I urge you to be inspired by my own experience and use positive affirmations in your own life. Become a scientist in your own lab - experiment with your life and observe your results! Happy Manifesting!

Tal Shai, MA (Counseling Psychology with emphasis in Spiritual Psychology) is an Intuitive Life Coach who helps people all over the planet create the life of their dreams. She is the author of the Intuition Heart Cards and Guidebook, an interactive tool designed to support groups and individuals access their inner guidance - http://www.talshai.com/

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